Never the Same: Coming to Terms with the Death of a Parent

Time does not heal all wounds, warns grief counselor Donna Schuurman in her brave and practical book about the challenges adults face in coming to terms with the loss of a parent before age 18. Her premise in Never the Same defies the common wisdom. "Forget the stages of grief. There is no magical moment when you can say, it’s over." Using thoughtful self-assessments and examples, Schuurman persuades readers that grief must be reprocessed at every stage of life. First, she invites readers to look backward, examining their reactions and coping strategies at the time of their parent’s death. Moving into the present, she asks, what meaning do your make of your parent’s death as an adult? Schuurman details the high cost of unresolved grieving, including depression, anxiety, pessimism, underachievement, and troubled relationships. She then outlines suggestions for dealing with the legacy of a parent’s death and choosing healthy traditions for remembering. Adults and parents will find this a wise and compassionate book—-an indispensable guide to the unfinished business of losing a parent at an early age. --Barbara Mackoff