Cliques: Eight Steps to Help Your Child Survive the Social Jungle

In the first book to focus on the traumatic effects caused by cliques in our schools, an acclaimed parenting-advice team offers a fresh perspective and an innovative eight-step program to turn around the culture of cruelty that torments all students.

There have always been "in crowds," but today's social pressures force children into explosive, destructive, and even life-threatening situations. No matter what role your child plays in this schoolhouse drama--clique leader, victim, or innocent bystander--this book is a must-read. Giannetti and Sagarese have honed in on this little-understood phenomenon and come up with insights that parents can use immediately. Read Cliques to understand:

* Who the clique leaders are in your child's school
* What you can do NOW to help your child avoid abuse
* Times during the day when cliques are visible to adults
* Where in your school you should start to lobby for change
* Why your "innocent bystander" may not be so innocent
* How you can rid your child of bully-like behavior

Cliques is more than just a manual for cheering your child on--it brings hope and a truly comprehensive understanding of adolescent society to the millions of families struggling against this divisive force. Within its pages, you will find the tools you need to make a difference.

Cliques has a twofold message: things are much worse in middle school than you think, and as a parent, there are specific steps you can and should take to make the situation better. The first claim is unnecessary--we all know that cruel stuff happens to kids in junior high school--but the authors go on to give advice about how to help your child survive.

The book addresses two different phenomena: bullying and cliques. The latter (those impenetrable social castes that admit and exclude children at whim) often employ "the fourth R--ridicule" to devastate the self-esteem of those who are "out." This tormenting of peers is not only random and cruel but also often criminal.

The book is divided into eight "steps," each a practical lesson, such as "Help Your Child Belong" and "Empower Your Victim." The sections end with a short, practical list of "Things You Can Do" (e.g., "Work on reducing the conflicts that disrupt your family") and "Things You Cannot Do" (e.g., "Make your child more popular"). The final step, "Lobby for Change," contains some practical advice on what you can do to make schools into kinder, gentler places. It is heartening to hear that programs set up and run by savvy, big-hearted kids have been some of the most effective in addressing the issues. --Richard Farr