Reeling in the Years: Gay Men's Perspectives on Age and Ageism

"Older gay men and younger gay men rarely talk to each other. We're like Italian salad dressing in the fridge. You can shake us all you want but eventually we'll lift, separate, and retreat to separate halves of the bottle."

Reeling in the Years: Gay Men's Perspectives on Age and Ageism examines the "two tribe" mentality about age that divides the gay male community into "us" and "them." Tim Bergling, author of the critically acclaimed Sissyphobia (Haworth), uses polls, surveys, and interviews conducted with men from five different age groups to illustrate the gay community’s attitudes toward age and the rites of passage associated with certain age groups. The book explores the gay experience through young, middle-aged, and elderly viewpoints, including relationships, dating younger guys, dating older guys, the Internet, sex, drugs, alcohol, HIV/AIDS, fitness, plastic surgery, retirement, harassment, and discrimination.

"Old men come off as whorish, bitter old queens."

"Young people today seem to whine a lot more than we ever did."

"Most older guys are just trying to figure out a way to get a young guy in the sack."

"All these younger guys think older guys like me just want to get them into bed."

Why don't the Generations Gay mix well? Reeling in the Years gets right to the heart of the matter, examining the wide range of emotions at work in younger/older gay male relationships—from fear and loathing to love and happiness. Beneath the bitchy asides, passionate relationships, rock-solid friendships, and hateful distrust, men struggle to answer the question: "Can older gay men really be friends with younger gay men?" In their own words, hundreds of men discuss what it's like to be 16, 28, 40, or 70, examining myth and reality about age and aging from different attitudes and perspectives.

"The older a guy gets, the more out of touch he is."

"A 20-year-old hasn't really been anywhere or done anything."

"If you're gray, stay away!"

"These kids today just piss me off."

Reeling in the Years examines the fear, suspicion, and prejudice that exists at both ends of the age spectrum of the gay experience, while displaying rays of hope, acceptance, and understanding for a possible truce in the war between the ages.

"I wish older people would treat us with more respect, like we might have an idea or two in our heads. And I'm ashamed when I see the way people my age treat older guys. We're going to be older one day, too."