How to Get Fat (Self-Hurt)

It's not easy to put on weight. Everywhere you look it seems there's another excuse not to eat. Too busy for snacktime or meals, the incessant desire to get out there and exercise, sometimes it just feels like the cards are stacked against you. Even if you've failed at weight gain before, with this easy, step-by-step guide, you'll actualize your inner corpulence. Discover the pleasures of amplitude. It's time to get fat!

Learn how to:

*Be appreciated for your personality and pretty face

*Build up to maximum carb, fat, and sugar intake levels

*Put the junk where it belongs--in your trunk